"Let's kick cancer's booty and take some names."

LORD, after this suffering, let it be said that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, make my Savior clear to all those around me. Because of my suffering and willing perseverance, cause others to be encouraged to speak the Word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
(Phillippians 1:12-14)

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Monday, May 10, 2010

Pre-Registration

I went to the hospital today for Pre-registration for Friday's surgical biopsy.

I thought it was funny that they called me last Friday and wanted to 'pre-register me for Monday.' Pre-registration for pre-registration? Translation: "We called your insurance company and this is how much you owe us."

Anywho......I got there and was told to wait in a very small waiting room with the TV blaring out today's episode of the Young and the Restless. At this point, I nearly froze. This is the first time during a doctor's visit when my blood pressure goes up and my anxiety level rises and I instantly feel socially retarded. I don't really like talking to strangers. And for some reason, the Ward girls (me and my sister Angie) display a large sign across our foreheads that blinks in big neon letters : "PLEASE TALK TO ME." It happens everywhere we go: the grocery store, the doctor's office, Walmart, the post office, etc. So I looked for a seat away from the other patients. There was also an elderly man who was talking very loudly to the person next to him. I'm certain he was talking loudly because he was sitting right in front of the blaring tv. The nurses and techs coming through there were all very chatty too. One was bringing 2 plates of birthday cake through there and I was sooo hoping she was bringing a piece to me. No such luck.

I was finally called back to a small office where the desk looked like a metal teacher's desk from the 1970's. I felt like I'd been called to the Principal's office.......not that I know what that's like.
The lady proceeded to give me an anesthesia brochure, surgery instructions: no eating after midnight the night before, don't swallow the water when you brush your teeth (do people actually DO that??), don't wear makeup or jewelry, etc. I signed some paperwork stating I would be under some sort of anesthesia and another one stating that I understood what type of surgery Dr. Cooper would be performing. I also received a "Pain Intensity Scale". No pain is a zero. Worst pain is a 10. They are identified by "smiley faces". The No Pain face is a regular grin from ear to ear. The Moderate Pain face is 2 eyes, a nose, and a straight line for the smile. Worse Pain is a very large frown and tears streaming from it's eyes. I was told to familiarize myself with this because after surgery they would ask me my pain level.

Then the words I'd dreaded all day............"Let's take you over to the lab." Which just means, "You're gettin' stuck with a needle today." After what I'm assuming was 1 vile of blood (I say assuming because truth be told, I had my head turned) I was sent on my way. At that point, I had the face that is frowning, labeled "Severe Pain." But they didn't ask me to rank my pain for that part. So off I went.

I'm now reading the "Pain Intensity Scale" sheet. It lists the most common pain control methods. Under Non-Drug options it lists "Distraction". I should have no problem with that one. Once when I went to the doctor................OH LOOK! A chicken!
Another one listed is: transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation. HUH??? It has a word in it I can't pronounce along with the word "electrical". I'm pretty sure that's not gonna be my non-drug choice.

Friday will be here before I know it, as will 6am when I have to be at the hospital. I will keep everyone posted on the procedure and the results the following Wednesday.

Have a great week!








1 comment:

  1. I have that same sign on my head Candy, once in Wal Mart candy aisle, a woman told me all about her bathroom troubles, meaning diarreah, am sure that's not spelled right. I walked away thinking, no what about me made her feel comfortable to tell me all that...hahahaha I think it means we have nonjudgemental faces and people can tell us all their stuff. So if you need to tell someone all about your stuff...I am here. Love you much!

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