The Diagnosis and Where We Go From Here

If you're reading this you probably already know that I have been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Here's how things have gone the last 2 weeks:

I had my yearly appointment with my gynecologist on what I thought was a regular Tuesday. I was scheduled for my yearly mammogram the next day. I asked my doctor if I could go ahead and get an ultra sound as well. You see, every year when I get a mammogram, they send me a letter stating that they saw something that could be suspicious and that I need to schedule an ultra sound. And it scares me to death. So this year, I asked if we could go ahead and do them both at the same time. Turns out it could've been divine providence.

I got my mammogram and the pictures were shown to the radiologist. He said they looked good and I could go down the hall for my ultra sound. After the ultra sound the technician went to show those pictures to the same radiologist. He came back in the room with her. Uh-oh. This is not normal. He wanted to look at something. So I crawled back up on the table. He starts the ultra sound again and says, "What is THAT?" And he has this funny look on his face. That is REALLY not something you want to hear your radiologist say, especially when you're are one he's saying it about.

He recommends a biopsy.

The next day my doctor's office calls and says they have me scheduled to see a surgeon the next Wednesday.

The next day my doctor calls me. On his personal cell phone. And he says he's praying for me and we will walk through this together and he knows it's stressful. My first thought was, "Why is he praying for me? What did he see on that ultrasound?"

You might be wondering why I said asking for the ultrasound was divine providence. Turns out, my mammogram had not changed, but my ultrasound had. If, by some wild chance, they hadn't asked me to come back for it, or if I hadn't asked for it, this cancer may have gone undetected.......divine providence.

I go to the surgeon and he walks in the room, says hello, then exclaims, "Did they tell you this was CYST?" I said no and he went on to explain that cysts do NOT turn into cancer. They never have. They never will. He scheduled me for a biopsy the next day.

If you've ever had a biopsy, maybe you'll understand when I say I never want to do it again. It didn't hurt. But I was so scared and nervous. Especially when the radiologist said, "It usually takes a week to get the results back, but your doctor put a rush on these results." Okaaaay. That was on a Thursday.

On Monday, April 12th, I got the news. And I cried. He told me that I needed to get a breast MRI.

As with the biospy, if you've ever had a breast MRI, maybe you'll understand when I say I never want to have another one these every again either. It also did not hurt. But it's extremely uncomfortable. And loud. But hey, they didn't have these things 10 years ago, so I feel very fortunate that I had it done.....because without it they would've never seen a 2nd tumor.

I went to see my doctor the next day and he told me about the 2nd tumor and told me where it was located and how big it was. The 1st tumor is located on the right side at the 12:00 location. The 2nd tumor is also on the right side, but it's at the 6:00 location. If it turns out to be cancer, it means I have 2 cancers growing at the same time, but they are completely separate. It only happens in 20% of breast cancer patients.

Welcome to my world.

And guess what that means? Remember that biopsy I said I never wanted to have again? I MIGHT have to have it again. I go back to the hospital this coming Tuesday, April 20th to have yet another mammogram and ultrasound. If the radiologist looks at tumor #2 and decides it needs to have a biopsy, I will do that, then see my doctor again. If it is NOT cancer, I will be scheduled for a lumpectomy to remove tumor #1. If it IS cancer, I will be scheduled for a mastectomy. It's more invasive, but they tell me it hurts less.

Today I am praying for no cancer in the lymph nodes (which they will test during surgery) and to have only a lumpectomy. I'm also praying for wisdom, not only for myself but for my doctors as well. And to go through this with some amount of grace and dignity and most importantly, to show that you don't have to lose your faith when facing uncertainty and ground you've never walked before. I am scared. No doubt about that, but God has given me peace. And I know He is walking this path with me.